When you love and care about someone, being there for them is part of the job. It’s normal to ask each other about how things are going and for life updates. When you’re celebrating, this aspect of your relationship is easy. But when times are tough, it becomes a lot more complicated to navigate.
You want to be supportive but not pushy. You may be watching your words and actions to not offend them or remind them of their situation. You could be struggling to come up with what to do together or talk about for fear of overshadowing their struggles. These are all valid experiences, but you don’t have to settle for discomfort and uncertainty. Here are a few ways you can be there for loved ones when life throws them a curveball.
Support from Afar
Being supportive when your friend or family member is in need doesn’t require you to be there physically. If you live far away or they’re not open to visitors, you can still be there for them. It just takes a bit of creativity.
One of the best options is to send a gift. This doesn’t need to be extravagant, it just needs to display your love and care for them. So, find items they enjoy and put together a one-of-a-kind care package. Get food delivered from their favorite restaurant. Or find a pre-packed sympathy care package that has everything they could need for comfort.
These gifts all send the same message: You are loved. And when someone close to you is struggling, that can be a differencemaker. Lucky for you, it just takes a bit of time and coordination to bring the idea to life.
Hang Out With No Agenda
Different people process life’s toughest moments in their own way. Some may cry for days on end, only stopping to sleep. Others may try to go on as if life is normal, only to crash eventually when the emotions are too much. And some will be in a daze of sorts, only able to think about their situation and how awful they feel.
As such, it’s hard to know exactly what someone will need from you during challenging periods. The best way to navigate the ups and downs is to hang out with your loved one without plans. Don’t go into seeing them thinking you’ll leave the house or have a heart-to-heart conversation. Instead, focus on physically being there with them to show your support.
Even if you do nothing, your loved one will know you care. They’ll appreciate the flexibility and option to do whatever they’re able to manage. And you’ll grow closer in your relationship together in the process.
Lean into Comfort
Trying times yield an unrivaled love of comfort. Cozy blankets, fuzzy slippers, and stretchy waistbands are go-tos for daily use. They offer a small reprieve from the complicated emotions and decisions your loved one is enduring. That’s exactly why comfort is key in showing support.
Infuse comfort into their life by bringing them a new comfort item or making a classic comfort food. Stock their fridge and pantry with their favorite snacks to make eating more enjoyable. Help their space be more comfortable by coming over to tidy and manage household chores.
These acts of service aren’t difficult nor do they require a lot of time. But they can make a massive impact on your loved one’s situation. They’ll know you care and want what’s best for them. And down the line, they’ll be even more grateful for your support than they are right now.
Be Prepared to Listen
When your loved one is going through their situation, it can be exhausting. Otherwise, simple tasks like eating, drinking, and sleeping fall by the wayside. Everyday errands are overwhelming. Grief, anxiety, and frustration fill their days. Naturally, that can create a buildup of emotions and feelings.
However, when their life is feeling more manageable, those feelings don’t disappear. They need someone to share with about how they’re feeling and the lingering effects of what happened. That’s where you come in. Offer to sit and listen to them with no intention of doing anything else. Give them the space they need to get their emotions off of their chest.
Even if they’re in therapy or talking with others, it’s nice to share what they’re going through. They know it’s a safe space because of your closeness, and they’re confident it can help. All you have to do is actively listen, weigh in if asked, and be there for them. When it’s all said and done, you’ll both be better off for it.
A Closer Connection
Figuring out what your loved one needs in tough times is easier said than done. It’s a delicate balance of hearing them out and assuming what you think is best. Will you get it right every time? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean your efforts go unnoticed.
In fact, anything you do to love, care for, and support your friend will only strengthen your relationship. They’ll know how much you appreciate and hope for the best for them. And you’ll feel a new level of intimacy that your relationship wouldn’t have otherwise reached. While challenges are never the goal, they can increase your closeness, which is one of the few bright spots.
Lynn Martelli is an editor at Readability. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Antioch University and has worked as an editor for over 10 years. Lynn has edited a wide variety of books, including fiction, non-fiction, memoirs, and more. In her free time, Lynn enjoys reading, writing, and spending time with her family and friends.
